Author’s note: This is specifically written in an evolving juvenile manner to reflect how younger cancer patients have no idea they are dying, let alone sick, yet are going through all of this pain and sickness and can’t physically comprehend the concept of death
Day 1:
I was sitting in my dinner chair, eating my pasghetti, when I started coughing a lot. I didn’t like it. I had been doing it a lot lately. Except, this time, it felt very bad. The inside of my neck started hurting, and the pasghetti sauce was coming out of my mouth when I coughed.
Day 2:
I woke up the next morning and Mama and Daddy took me to a big white building, and a strange woman poked me with a needle. It hurt only a bit! I’m a brave girl. And I had my teddy bear. Daddy gave me a big hug afterwards. The strange woman then took me to a room with a weird bed in it. I had never seen such a long bed before and it made really loud sounds when I laid down in it. My ears hurt a bit afterwards but it was okay. Mama and daddy got me some ice cream afterwards! They said we couldn’t go home until the woman could make sure I was healthy. I got a big bed, all to myself! I kind of felt bad, though, mama and daddy didn’t look very comfy in those armchairs next to my bed. I coughed a bit more, but I think it was because of the cold ice cream. I had to have a tube put in my arm, and it hurt more than the needle. But daddy told me it was so I didn’t get dehydrated. I don’t know what that means.
Day 3:
I woke up, and daddy was gone. He had to go home to look after Sunny, my doggy! Mama stayed with me and we watched TV on her phone all day! We had food made by fancy chefs. I got to drink a juice cup! They’re so yummy! After we finished eating, the strange woman came to talk to my mama. I don’t know what they talked about, but it must have been bad! Mama came back and looked a bit scared. She cried a bit, and I asked her what was wrong. She just told me she was scared and then hugged me. I gave her my teddy bear so she would be brave, like me. Daddy came back when it was night, and I got to go on a walk around the strange building with him. When we got back to my bed, mama was gone, and daddy told me that she needed to sleep. Mama didn’t take my teddy bear, she must be brave now!
DAY 4
I woke up, and I felt yucky. My tummy hurted, and when I told Daddy he called the strange woman over. She brought over a metal bowl and held it under my face. And then, I yuckied. I had only yuckied once before, when mama, daddy, and I were all sick! This time was worse though, there was pasghetti sauce in it and it tasted HORRIBLE. I spat right into the metal bowl the woman brought me. How did she know?! She must be magic. She put a needle into the tube that was connected to my arm, and a few minutes later, I felt a bit better. She was definitely magic!
Soon, mama came back! She looked better than last night, she wasn’t scared anymore! The woman came over after she saw mama and daddy, and asked to see them in a different room. Mama kissed my hand, and then she and daddy went with the woman.
They both came back a bit later, and they were both crying. I had never seen daddy cry before, I thought boys didn’t cry. It must be bad. I asked what was wrong, and wanted to cry too because I didn’t like seeing them sad. They told me I was sick. I wanted to make them feel better, so I told them that I was going to get better! Because last time I had the yuckies, they both helped me get better! They both hugged me tight, and mama was shaking a bit. She was still crying so I gave her my teddy bear again.
Day 5:
I woke up with mama and daddy laying down on either sides of my bed. It was still dark so I went back to sleep, holding their hands. I had to leave the big white building that day. It was too bad. I liked my bed and the food.
Day 7:
I woke up early so Mama could take me to the big white building again. I didn’t get a bed this time, though. Just a lumpy chair. There was a bag with liquid in it, like when I had the tube in my arm. Mama told me it would be like that, except this one wouldn’t make me feel very good.
I looked around, and there were a bunch of kids, who looked very sad, and all had no hair! I didn’t want to bother them, so I just sat down in my chair without a word. I didn’t really want to have the tube in my arm again, but mama said we could go buy some new toys later, so I let the people in the place put the tube in my arm.
When the liquid was going in my arm it was very cold. Mama gave me some pills so that I wouldn’t feel bad afterwards. She told me that the liquid was going to make me all better.
Day 8:
I woke up that morning and my mouth was really dry. So, I got out of my bed by myself and walked to the kitchen to get some water. Mama was already awake, making… I stood on my tippy toes… pancakes!
Mama was surprised to see me up without being woken, so she handed me a plate of some pancakes. Mama told me to have my pills before I ate the pancakes.
A few minutes later, I yuckied them all over the kitchen floor. My stomach was hurting a lot after eating, and mama put me back to bed. It was Wednesday, and because I was sick, I didn’t get to go to school. I guess it was okay, I still had my doggy. I secretly let Sunny into my room later so he wasn’t lonely.
Day 10:
I woke up feeling really hot, and my head was on fire. It was sooo itchy. I scratched it a bit, but then my hand got caught in my hair a bit, so I just yanked it out. Daddy walked in my room to wake me up, but I was already awake! He looked at me and frowned, like he did when we were at the big white building. Then he walked over to my bed and showed me what he was looking at when I stared at him confused.
There were clumps of hair laying on my pillow. My pin-straight dark hair, short amounts of it in small piles where my head was.
I didn’t get to go to school again, so I played with the doggy! Me and Sunny were playing, when suddenly he yuckied on me. I didn’t like it, so I ran to daddy, crying because it smelled so bad. Mama ran to the dog to see what was wrong, he doesn’t yucky as much as I do. Daddy told me when he was cleaning me up that mama was taking him to the vet because the dog wouldn’t stop vomiting. I wondered if he was sick like me?
Day 13:
I woke up because mama came to my bed to tell me that I should be with Sunny extra today. I was feeling really bad that day so I said maybe later.
Lots more hair had appeared on my pillow when I was sleeping. I didn’t really want to look at it, so I moved to the couch and watched TV.
Stay a family forever! New technology has left families more connected than ever before, with products now hitting department stores-
I changed the channel to Nick Jr, so I could watch the bubble guppies!
I fell asleep after a little bit, and I knew it had been a while, because it was already dark when I woke up again.
I looked over to the dog. I had the energy to play now. I sat up and crouched down to pat him. He had fallen asleep, like me! I giggled a little bit. He barked when I patted him, so I pulled my hand back, in shock. Why was he mad at me? I cried out for mama, and she came running over. And while I tried to tell her what happened, she jumped into action before I could. Instead she just picked him up, and yelled at me to follow her to the car. We were going to the vet.
DAY 14
It was still dark and I hadn’t gone to bed yet. I was just sitting in the vet by myself, because mama wouldn’t tell me what was happening. Eventually, she came out of the office and explained. We said goodbye and left the vet quietly.
Me and mama cried together that morning, for the first time.
