Today is the day you’ve been waiting for.

Over the past week, I’ve observed an ever-present buzz across the College campus. Whispers, rumours, giggles, and bursts of excitement in anticipation for what is to come. I’ve seen groups of students meticulously digging through stacks of files in a search for the identity of Willy C, while crowds gathered at the Green Road traffic lights, waiting in anticipation for further instruction on the fabled quest for Tim Tams.

Read Beforehand

Tim Tams

Microwave Butter Chicken

2 Minute Noodles

Vegemite Toast

Unfortunately, it has come to my attention, that despite the high level of detail that I strived for, there was still vast ambiguity in my writing, which is why this part will have to be longer, and hence creating a three-part (or more) series on our collective search for Tim Tams.

Some of the misguidance of We Are’s readers that I was responsible for included:

• Daniel was hit by a Ferrari while waiting for the traffic lights.
• Krish was hit by a Ford F-150 while crossing the pedestrian crossing.
• Tim accidentally flew his Cessna 172 from the school oval instead of exiting the school by foot.

Hopefully, everyone else besides our three casualties there should be waiting at Green Road, ready to continue the journey.

Quickly recalling what you’ll need:

• 2x $2 coins
• 1x 50c coin
• The confidence to approach a cashier.
• A way of transporting your body from the traffic lights to Kellyville Plaza (it must be legs; last time I said preferably legs, and one reader used a Cessna 172, so it has to be legs this time).

To avoid ambiguity, I’ve also included some things that you won’t be needing.

• Any heavy machinery
• 1x balaclava
• 3x 2B pencil
• 1x NESA approved calculator

And without any further postponement, let’s get right into it.

Waiting at the Traffic Lights

As I understand it, most viewers have been waiting at the traffic lights since last Wednesday, so it could be a little daunting trying to cross the road for the first time. Before you cross, it is important to wait until the little walky man is green. The walky man will only turn green if you press the big silver button. While you’re waiting for the walky man to turn green, it might be appropriate to 3D print a Tim Tam to tide over your desire for Tim Tams while you’re waiting.

Refer to the photos below – you’ll need to:

1. Model a Tim Tam in your 3D modelling software of choice.
2. Export your Tim Tam as an STL file.
3. Import the STL file into an appropriate 3D printer slicer.
4. Slice the file to your settings, somewhere around 0.12mm layer height, 0.36mm line width, and make sure to turn retraction on.
5. Export the sliced file to a micro-SD card.
6. Import the file onto your 3D printer.
7. Clean the print bed.
8. Level the print bed.
9. Start the print and sit back as you watch a Tim Tam materialise in front of you.

It’s that easy!

Hopefully that was a nice way of passing the time.

Where were we? Right! At the traffic lights. By now, with any luck, the lights should be green. If so, let us continue.

1. Prepare yourself for a confident stride – shoulders back, back upright, as you let the suave coolness of a Tim Tam driven walk take you to victory.
2. Continue the confident stride; this should hopefully be able to take you all the way to the other side of the crossing before you know it.
3. Block the spam callers calling you on WhatsApp (this isn’t necessary, but I have received 4 spam calls in the last 6 minutes while writing this).
4. Tell Anson to stop judging you for writing this article when you should be studying for prelims (once again, not necessary, but Anson didn’t seem to like that I was writing this instead of studying, tending to my loyal readers).
5. Anxiously check your phone to see if your crush has texted you back (they haven’t, but pretend like you don’t care).
6. While you were distracted on those last three steps, your confident stride should’ve brought you all the way up the hill to your next obstacle – the roundabout. Make sure to stop your confident stride though, otherwise it could bring you to confidently stride right into the path of an oncoming car.

Crossing the Round About

The round about is a tricky area navigationally. Even for the most experienced of us, it can be a lot to coordinate all the movements into one swift action. With cars going every which way, up and down Wrights Road, into and out of the car par, it’s an almost impossible task. But not to the resilient readers of We Are.

1. Learn the road rules through the road user handbook and relevant practice questions. You’ll find some helpful resources here that’ll get you up to scratch with the ins and outs of the road.
2. Once you’ve achieved an apt level of road knowledge, take the Driver Knowledge Test here until you obtain a satisfactory passing mark.
3. As soon as you’ve obtained a passing mark, you should have a good enough understanding of how roundabouts work, meaning you’ll know which cars are going in which directions, and which ones have the possibility of hitting you as you try to cross.
4. Before crossing, consolidate the pedestrian crossing car table in Tim Tams Part 1 – this guide works here as a judgement on whether it is safe to cross from one side to the other.
5. Once you’ve familiarised yourself with the road rules and ensured that no cars of dangerous brands are approaching, find that inner confident stride within yourself again, and get moving. Before you know it, you should find yourself on the concrete path just outside Aldi.
6. It’ll be a physical workout but continue that confident stride further up the concrete path all the way to the top, right by the Woolworths Return and Earn Bin.

Navigating The Carpark

By now, you should see yourself only a few hundred metres from the entrance to Woolworths. From here, all that’s between you and the gates to Tim Tams are a couple hundred cars crowding the car park.

1. Turn right and start walking towards Woolworths – keeping that confident stride that you should’ve mastered by now.
2. Think of carpark navigation as the ultimate test of your knowledge of the pedestrian table from part 1. At every car you approach, identify the brand and make an appropriate decision on whether or not they will give way to you. For those of you who didn’t read part one, a quick refresher of the table is as follows:

Continuing this brand recognition, moving past the car every time one gives way to you, you should eventually find yourself out the front of Woolworths.

Now that you’ve arrived out the front of Woolworth it’s time for a well-deserved break. I’ll see you all next week for the final part as we head into the depths of Woolworths to purchase Tim Tams.

Confectionery League

Support Tim Tams among the other confectionery as they take on supermarket giants Aldi in next week’s confectionery league title match, looking to make a comeback after the other week’s unfortunate loss again team Ford F-150.

Our confectionery team has had a great performance this year, with Tim Tams starring as our lead player, scoring an A+ rating from the Australian Prudential Regulation Authority (APRA).