Today marks the finale of the lucrative Staff V Students campaign.

While it has been an entertaining series, it certainly would be unwise to call it a competitive one, seeing the students win by ludicrous margins in every sport possible, with the following score lines:

• 16-0 in Touch Football
• 102-3 in Ultimate Frisbee (turns out Head of Secondary Mr Clarke knows a thing or two about throwing a frisbee)
• Some big number I don’t recall – 0 in whatever the other sport was.

The teachers are yet to make a statement having been asked by The Ibis Division on their losses.

With the final game coming up for a match-up in soccer, the Extension 2 Mathematics class has been running the numbers and determined 9987:1 odds in favour of the students for the upcoming match. Further to this, they have calculated significant odds that everyone on the students team scores twice.

There is little doubt that some good old-fashioned ‘Brexit’ style tackles will also make a flamboyant appearance.

Be sure to get onboard at lunch today as the final blow to the teachers is delivered.