It’s not everyday you get a 77-year-old businessman in orange (both in terms of skin colour and soon to be the colour of his prison clothes) as your president… then convicted on 34 accounts of falsification of business records… then run for president again. I mean, in all fairness, $130,000 is just a drop in the pond of wealth when it comes to covering up your act for an election – who wouldn’t throw some money away to keep things on the down low?

What’s more incredible is that amongst this, Trump is still the favourite Republican candidate from the presidential primaries – even in Nevada where Trump did not compete, another prolific Republican presidential hopeful Nikki Haley lost the vote to the “None of the candidates” option.

It got me thinking – in such unusual circumstances, if there are still so many people voting for him, there’s got to be a reason for it, for which I’ve compiled some reasons as to why having a convicted criminal leading your country could be a good idea.

1. It’s cheaper to have a leader in the White House than in prison.

America’s prisons are overflowing – so why not keep one more person out of it (assuming that the debt ceiling doesn’t continue to skyrocket).

2. Running the country will keep them busy enough to commit more crimes… probably.

In today’s society, there is a huge focus on rehabilitation, and what better way to keep people out of crime than to give them a country to run!

3. There’s no prospect of disappointment in them not fulfilling their promises.

Leaders all around the world do nothing but disappoint, but if you set the bar low enough to start with, then it’s all the much harder to stoop so low as to disappoint the expectations of the people.

4. You’ll never feel pressured by their moral righteousness (looking at you Abraham Lincoln).

A leader should be someone of the people – someone everyone responds to. It’s hard to follow leaders like Lincoln and Washington in their perfection impossible standards – someone with a conviction is the perfect down to earth person that we can all relate to.

5. You know they’re willing to get their hands dirty to preserve their nation.

Passive leadership gets nowhere these days. The world needs dictators – sorry, leaders – who can stand up for their country and keep them from giving in. What better a candidate than someone who is already well versed in such dubious acts.

It’s a wild game out there in the states – a convicted Cheeto puff, a mumbling undead corpse, and that third guy who’s a conspiracy theorist jumping off his uncle’s success 60 odd years ago.

See you in November folks.